Hiatus and Death

As you could tell from the last post. I was pissed off, through depression. I've been like that since I can remember, but not a single person I've known has noticed. And now my anxiety levels have become so high I can't breathe. And in turn I've been dangerously light-headed.

What is my reason for it?

My dog died. She was 11 years old.

My parents had just gotten into the car with her to take her to the vet for a check-up, when she stopped breathing.. They rushed back into the house, in tears, and calling out her name.

Now there is one thing that many people would not have in their house, for a pet; an oxygen concentrator, but we did. Even when we put the tube deep in her mouth, she couldn't get any air. Her lungs just couldn't take it, and collapsed.

Now as awful as it sounds, I want desperately to hurt the veterinarians that had "helped" her. Only 2 out the near 20 that we had taken her to had done something completely ludicrous, and unnecessary. The last one I wish would have something horrible befall her.. She filled my dog's lungs with fluid for a test that is in no way needed. But when you love a pet as you would a child, you listen to anyone, and pay anything. The biggest piece to the hatred against her alone though, would have to be cytology report. It took them nearly two weeks After her death for them to even let us see it. Before that they said that they had repeatedly sent to us. After we finally had it though, our blood was boiled, and hearts stabbed even harder, because in the report, they said that there was nothing to be worried over... And that was in the report from before the bronchoscopy had even been preformed.. They didn't want us to see it. They didn't want to save our dog's life.

Every person that called to get the oxygen concentrator, laughed. The girls at the vet (main doctor included), tittered and rolled their eyes after watching a pet owner grieve when one was fatally ill, or dead. To call yourself a doctor, in any practice, and then use your patients as a quick way to pay for your new car, is pathetic and shameful.

Ahh... Fuck.

Guess what..

I don't give a fuck...

About what, you ask?

ABOUT YOU AND YOU FUCKING LIFE! THAT'S WHAT! BITCH!

...

Ahem... excuse me.

Sorry, I just, have this mass depressive tendency...

Causes me to not give a shit a lot...

And go offline for months...

Ignore your face...

Fuck life...

But anyway, I am still up from waking up at 10:30am yesterday.

I have done this so many times I feel like a broken record set on an infinite loop.

Playing on a machine that never dies.

So I give even less of a fuck..

My reason for acting out so much this time...

I moved to Florida from Kentucky...

I lost 5 friends that liked me...

My dog became badly ill...

First doc said cancer...

Bugs in my room...

No friends now...

Overweight...

Facebook...

Damnit...

I ran out of space...

I moved from northern Ky, to very south Fl...

That made me lose 5 friends that actually liked my funny quirks...

Then right after we get here, my dog becomes sick...

We take her to one vet, and the shit head said it was cancer, when there were no lumps in her lungs...

I have book lice plaguing my bedroom, causing me to fear my own bathroom...

There is no one for me to talk to, no one to lean on, no one to cry to...

I'm a fat ass bitch with no reason to go outside, and the self esteem of a rotted plant thanks to the whores of life, the fuck you want me to do...

"Facebook is a place to be yourself" Not likely, for me I play games, type a random shity post, and stalk the fuckers that are related to me, and watch how they whine and piss and moan about their life, and how damn bad it is...

And as a closer...

Fuck off...

(Enter unkown, and yet to be found title here.)

Hmhm.. I've discarded my other writings, and have decided to start on one piece that has actually begun to keep me up past the hour of 2 a.m. working on it. It's all done by hand so far, and on college ruled papers.. So I guess having 5-6 pages after just 3-5 hours isn't bad, right? Or is my hand cramping up and my eye twitching on and off a bad sign...? Or.. am I just over thinking the whole thing... I don't rightly know for sure..

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A pair of black, worn out jeans, and a tight black t-shirt. A leather jacket atop it. Black and white low-top sneakers, and thick, heavily blackened sunglasses. A single aerring, clawed onto the right ear. Thick, yet easily flowing, and light, silvery gray hair. Blazing, bright red eyes, hidden behind the thickness of the black glasses. Only ever seen by the few who never live to talk about them.
His name is barely known by any, Only the few who he feels abliged to tell, before their death, have heard it. A single hand gun and a few strategically hidden blades of different sorts. A non-emotional face. A mouth, which utters not a single word to the living, not showing a single smile or grimace alike. The pounding of blood rushing faster and faster, fogging the ability to see the oncoming grip of death. Heart beating harder and harder, to prolong the sound of metal scraping metal, as the trigger is being pulled back. Unheard cries, and unseen tears. The trigger is pulled tight, and you lose the last thing you have left of your soul. The fear and desperation that had driven its way into your mind, body, soul. Now flowing through the thickened air, and into the lungs of the red-eyed devil. A devil of flame. A devil that's wanting. Waiting.. Hunting... Blood-thirtsy.... But is it truely as one sided as many have come to fear to be? Is there really such a relentlessly cruel creaure, roaming throughout the empty streets, killing without any word as to why? Is it as true as it seems? Or is there more to the tale than what is being said? Read on, and you'll soon find out.

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Haha. Sorry, but I want to see if you guys actually still find the boredom and time to come on these blogs anymore. So, I am going to wait for comments and encouragement before posting anything else pertaining the small tid-bit of story I have put up. So comment. Rate even if you feel to. If you want to finish that is.

Love Lost Is Still A Love All The Same (Strange title yes, but I hope it will be self explained later on)

Most love stories are the same as the other. The romantic boy meats girl; girl meats boy scenarios. Love that is given fully, and is never returned, telling the heart-breaking, yet love filled story. And, as always, the classic soft sunset settings, on a romantic beach, beneath the beautiful swaying palm trees. The warm glow of the setting sun in the background, where the once love-turned couple, will have that oh so magical first kiss.
Those stories are brought through-out with the charming, all-caring people, with nothing to lose, the people who also really don't exist, or are very hard to find. But what would love be like, for two who are not completely human, or are of a completely different species all together. Would the ruff path to love be as easy, or wanted. That love, wouldn't be like the other love story. The oh so "stunning" story of a pretty little girl becoming the damsel in distress, then suddenly, her prince charming comes out of no where and rescues her, sweeping her off her feet and into his strong arms. That story, would be one of only basic fantasy, where it may never really ever happen in the real world. No matter how much you'd want it to become your true love story.
I've never really had a thing for all those types of stories, although they can sometimes be, slightly, entertaining. To read that the one lover is willing to make a complete idiot of themselves just to get in bed with the other. Seems a bit, shallow or something, but that's usually all the "other lover" really wants. Guess since I've never really had an interest in love, only the occasional romantic novel I happen to find myself reading in my spar time, is my reason for talking down about most of those love stories.
Well, I guess me just talking about all this is kind of boring for you, eh. Well when people talk about love, it can become a very big bore fest pretty quickly. Even after just five minutes. Guess to keep your views stuck to these pages, at least until the second chapter or maybe even the actual end of the book, I should get back to that little thing I mentioned. The thing about the more than human, becoming lovers. And, of course, just like the prince, and princess tales, this is going to be a story more on the edge of a fantasy/fiction type tale. So to start I'll just start the next chapter now, to start the story of how two, so called, "mutants" travel down the twisted, confusing, hated, desired, always needed, road of love.

Maybe the teadeuse task of writting a tale of love won't be as hard as I think it will be. At least, I hope it won't be.

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Hehe, yeah I know it's a little weird, but it's just something I decided to start working on. Along with the other book that I've alraedy started (that has now come to a complete stand still due to my lack of writers creativety on that stand point). Which is basically the reason why I haven't posted anything in nearly a month. Or however long it's been. Idk I lost track.
So yeah. Hope you like it, even a little bit, and the second chapter of it Will be a lot better than this one. Trust me! lol.
I guess that wraps up this post.

Buuuuuuuusy Day! LoL

O.k. so today. Well yesterday now, I went to this house with my parents and I helped paint some rooms and stuff. The funniest things happened! I was painting with a roller on the wall and it kept splashing back on my face! lol. Hehehe! So then my dad told me to use an extender thing for the roller, but the only thing that did was cause me to hit the finished ceiling... 5 TIMES!!! >.< LoL but aaaaany way. I tripped and somehow hit my head on the wall, hince the PAINT IN MY HAIR! LoL again! Then I got paint all over my arms, even with a long sleeved shirt and gloves on! GRF! >-< And I forgot to take my glasses, the reason I can barely SEE ANYMORE RIGHT NOW! YET ANOTHER LoL!!!! I guess another LoL.. eh lol.

OH! And guess what was in the MIDDLE of the kitchen floor!! A BIG HOLE TO THE BASEMENT! And the only doorways to outside were right by the freaking deathtrap! Well it's a death trap for me. LoL I'm so clumsy! I kept leaning away from the big 10 foot tall hole with wood steps and no walls! My dad said that the only way I'd fall down there was if I stepped over the buckets that lined the edges... So I said well all I have to do is trip and fall OVER the buckets! DDUUUHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then he tried to get me to go down the steps ._. I had an anxiety attack -.- OMG LoL!! I couldn't go down the steps alone!!! I got half way down and almost had a heart attack! My dad laughed, but I'm like. OK! It's about 20 feet down! I'm about 6 foot tall! There is NO hand rail! NO WALLS ON EITHER SIDE! And the backs of the steps.... well there WERE NONE! Which freaked me out SOOOOOOOO much more!!!!! >.<

um... I kind of crawled back up those stairs ._" I TRIED TO GET OVER MY STUPID FEAR THING! But then I just ended up hyperventilating.... So I gave up pretty quickly! LoL!! XP

AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY! WOOOO! LoL See Yah Guys Later! :D

~BYE~

~X